I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
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