Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
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