i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
meet me or not, i'm out of control
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
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