I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
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