Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
Randomize