I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize