i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
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