Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
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