I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
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