My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
Randomize
