well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
Randomize
