He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
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