Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
Life update: This fucking MacBook repair guy called me over last night for a booty call and he didn’t have a condom OR a bed
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
Randomize
