Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
Small penises have feelings too.
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
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