She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
Randomize
