Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
Randomize
