**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
Randomize
