i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
I booty called her while she was in labor.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
Randomize
