erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
Randomize
