smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
It's not a walk of shame if you run
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
Randomize
