I would go down on you faster than GM stock
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
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