when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
Randomize
