you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
Randomize
