shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
