i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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