Yo dont text me then not text me
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
Randomize
