mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
so let's talk penis.
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
Randomize