I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
babies were throwing up all over the place
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
Randomize
