Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
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