Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
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