dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
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