I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
Randomize