I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
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