We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
Randomize