I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
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