i think my tv is drunk
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
Dear god my vagina.
Randomize
