I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
Randomize
