Its about making memories worth repressing
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
I just offered a homeless man a meal from McDonald's, and he replied "I don't eat McDonald's food". That is the epitome of "begger's can't be choosers."
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
Randomize
