porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
Randomize
