we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
Sorry my hands just texted you
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
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