He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
Randomize
