I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
Randomize
