You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
Your dad touched me again.
If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
Randomize
