i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
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