Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
I wish your couch was made out of beer. I would drink like half of it.
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
Randomize
