You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
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