Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
Randomize
