I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
Randomize
