Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
Randomize
