You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
Randomize
