mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
Who died my cat blue again?
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
Randomize