Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
I want a musical about memes.
Randomize
