She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
I don't know, Alex. I don't know. I lost my keys, my debit card, my makeup bag, broke my purse, had to have someone cut my shoe off, I have no idea where my costume is. I woke up next to the biggest douchebag I know and made out with this other guy while SIMULTANEOUSLY talking on the phone to the guy I'm talking to...
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
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