That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
Randomize
