no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
Randomize
