I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
Randomize
